Today I was really tempted to drink.  A variety of factors led to this place that are not worth mentioning.  I had, however, pretty much decided early this morning that recovery was too damn much work and that I’d be better off drinking.  Before starting drinking, though, I decided to call a friend from the AA program. 

I talked to my friend M.  He reminded me of everything I have to be grateful for in sobriety.  A family.  Beautiful children.  A home.  Good work.  Damn.  He convinced me that sober was better. 

Later in the day, I spoke to my sponsor and told him how close I had been to drinking.  I told him that I was busy feeling sorry for myself because, after all, normal people got to drink without problems and it wasn’t fair that I couldn’t.  He said, “Yeah, normal people like to be shit-faced and face down in their bathrooms by 10 a.m. on Saturdays.”  He had found me in that state at one point. 

For today, I need to focus on the fact that I want not to drink more than I want to drink.  And when I want to drink more than I want not to, I really need to focus on the potential consequences of picking up, because there’s no place that drinking can take me that will make any of my problems easier.


One Response to “Temptation”

  1. […] Diary of a Sober Madman « Temptation […]

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