Temptation

Today I was really tempted to drink.  A variety of factors led to this place that are not worth mentioning.  I had, however, pretty much decided early this morning that recovery was too damn much work and that I’d be better off drinking.  Before starting drinking, though, I decided to call a friend from the AA program. 

I talked to my friend M.  He reminded me of everything I have to be grateful for in sobriety.  A family.  Beautiful children.  A home.  Good work.  Damn.  He convinced me that sober was better. 

Later in the day, I spoke to my sponsor and told him how close I had been to drinking.  I told him that I was busy feeling sorry for myself because, after all, normal people got to drink without problems and it wasn’t fair that I couldn’t.  He said, “Yeah, normal people like to be shit-faced and face down in their bathrooms by 10 a.m. on Saturdays.”  He had found me in that state at one point. 

For today, I need to focus on the fact that I want not to drink more than I want to drink.  And when I want to drink more than I want not to, I really need to focus on the potential consequences of picking up, because there’s no place that drinking can take me that will make any of my problems easier.

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One Response to “Temptation”

  1. […] Diary of a Sober Madman « Temptation […]

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