Starting Over

Today has been 3 days since my last drink.  Sometime last Saturday night the obsessive thoughts about drinking became stronger than my resolve to resist them.  My recovery program broke down.  The details of the next 2 days are somewhat hazy.

There are all kinds of excuses I could make, but in the end, I just wanted to escape.  The problem with escaping is that at some point all the problems that you’re escaping from catch up with you.  My sponsor told me, “One of these days you have to get sober, and when you do you have to deal with this shit.” 

As I look back at my last entry, I am impressed with the power of denial.  You see, the blog says I wrote this on Sunday night.  In this entry, I talk about how much I had wanted to drink and how I had resisted.  I don’t actually remember writing this.  I wonder who I was trying to fool?

And so I start over.  October 25, 2010 was the date of my last drink.

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One Response to “Starting Over”

  1. Hi – I’ve just written my memoir on five trips through inpatient for alcohol abuse. I started a blog about to get the general readers opinions on my story. Each entry in my blog is an edited piece from my book.

    I’ve got an early entry near the bottom of the page that applies directly to what you’ve just written. It’s titled “The Mosquito Bite” –

    Go take a look.

    Best – Nef

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